Minty's attack on the Fireclan!

[Ninjapaw]

As fast as lighting, the rouge cat "Minty" slashed Zipperpaw's leg. Zipperpaw fell and Minty claimed Zipperpaw's life. The rouge cat turned and saw Bigkit & Maykit. He tryed to kill them with a slash, but Inkclaw took their place. With that, Inkclaw died. Speedfoot & Mightstar ran to attack minty. Minty jumped at Speedfoot, But used his last life to save Speedfoot. Speedfoot with rage keplt slashing Minty. When Smallchest stopped him, all of Minty's blood was on Speedfoot. Him & the other cats padded to camp.
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The next morning Sppeedfoot became the leader ( for killing Mity, ever though Inkclaw was the detury).
He said, "Mightstar helped us surived 5 leaf-bares, He was one of the best leaders Fireclan had." Speedstar turned to Mightstar's kits- Bigkit &Maykit and said " Mightstar- your dad, died for the clan, remember that." Sppeedstar paded to his new den to settle in.

[Dustpaw]

I am no moderator or anything but... You should really try to slow things down. Maybe give more details. Also you could try not to make typos and review it before you post. Also be more logical, could one rogue cause so much destruction in a whole clan? That is basically what you need to improve. =)

[Ninjapaw]

it is because the rouge cat had so much training. he is as strong as a leader

[Dustpaw]

But play it out like this. There is a leader on one side and his whole clan on the other side. How much destruction would the leader cause to about 40 - 50 cats? And the rogue would only have one life... leaders have nine.

[Nightstar]

I agree. The story isn't bad, but it could use a little bit of work. Looks like the concept is pretty good so far, though! =)

And Dustpaw, the non-mod thing for you may change... I might make you a regular moderator on the Zeta site. =D