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Post by Dawnflower on Dec 9, 2008 9:11:25 GMT -5
Brambleclaw had defeated Hawkfrost but his heart turned to ice. Almost his whole family had been evil Tigerclaw,Hawkfrost.....
"Brambleclaw"! Called Squirrelflight. "You coming"! "In a minute".He yowled back. Suddenly he was taken and pinned on his back.He breathed in the horrid scent but he dared not open his eyes he already knew who it was....Tigerstar. Brambleclaw wriggled around trying to escape Tigerstars claws but as he did so the claws got deeper in his fur. Blood gushed out of the wound he was loosing blood the last thing he heard before he went uncouncious was "Ha so this is the Thunderclan deputey wriggling around like a kit"! Sorry this was all i could do right now this is also my first fanfic so sorry if its bad.
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Post by Nightstar on Dec 9, 2008 16:24:00 GMT -5
It's not bad. I'm interested to see how this will turn out...
Go Brambleclaw! Turn him into crowfood!
Note that you might want to add more punctuation though, and divide it into smaller paragraphs. (A lesson that I had to learn too when I wrote my first one... and the hard way, because the story sucked my first time... XD )
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Post by Largestar on Dec 9, 2008 16:52:55 GMT -5
;D I'd like to see that.
Interesting story, Dawnflower, I like how it goes
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Post by Dawnflower on Dec 21, 2008 13:02:35 GMT -5
Brambleclaw opened his eyes he was in Leafpool's den. She looked at him sternly. "Trying to kill yourself huh".She snapped. "You should have seen squirrelflight she was scared to death".She continued not letting Brambleclaw speak. Before Leafpool could speak again Brambleclaw told her the story. Leafpool would have snapped again but suddenly they where plunged into the dark forest. They where surrounded by bolth starclan and the dark forest cats. They were fighting tooth and claw. Several times he saw his father and Hawkfrost team up against Bluestar. "Starclan cats can't die again can they". Brambleclaw asked Leafpool. They bolth blinked and were back in Leafpool's den. ''I don't know".She finally replied. They bolth just stared at each other for a moment when she said "Brambleclaw you won't tell will you". "no"Brambleclaw replied,"I won't".
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Post by Firepaw on Dec 21, 2008 20:57:16 GMT -5
man that is sooo great
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Post by Nightstar on Dec 22, 2008 10:52:55 GMT -5
I love the clincher here! Keep going!  |
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Post by Dawnflower on Jan 1, 2009 12:34:16 GMT -5
I don't know if I can I think I've ran out of Ideas but i'll make more fanfics!
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Post by Nightstar on Jan 1, 2009 14:29:19 GMT -5
TT_TT NOOOOOO! No ending? XDDD
Okay, though if you're not going to finish it, do you want to keep the thread up or not?
Scratch that, I'll make a finished/unfinished but not going to be added to fanfics board eventually. XD
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Post by Dawnflower on Jan 2, 2009 10:27:46 GMT -5
*sighs* i'll continue
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Post by Dawnflower on Jan 23, 2009 17:29:10 GMT -5
Brambleclaw ran out of leafpool's den who would he keep this from firestar? he ran to Squirrelflight. "Squirrelflight meet me in the territory please". Brambleclaw meowed softly. He ran into the territory only to run into Hawkfrost. He pinned him down with one sharp blow. Tigerstar appeared behind him. "ohh heres our little traitor about to be killed like a kit"! Hawkfrost taunted. Brambleclaw yowled he was about to faint he couldn't take the pain. Suddenly Crowfeather(ooc: you will find out later) leaped at Hawkfrost. Brambleclaw got up on all fours and launched himself at Tigerstar. Suddenly they vanished Brambleclaw turned to Crowfeather. "Why did you save me"? Brambleclaw questioned. "You and squirrelflight are going to help me and Leafpool. Brambleclaw looked startled Leafpool and Crowfeather had gotten over each other moons ago or so he thought. "When me and leafpool have our kits you will call them your own Squirrelflight is supposed to have yours at the exact same time". Meowed Crowfeather. "Fine". Said Brambleclaw . "You save my life I save yours". Sorry for late reply.
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Post by Dawnflower on Feb 12, 2009 18:52:39 GMT -5
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